Feedback

First Draft:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLmHqF9IIG8&feature=share&list=UUoTepyGEdF9TcqD56scLPPg

After uploading my first draft as a private video to YouTube; I gained the following feedback from other members of my media class:

'The effects look great and add well to the atmosphere but I think that the narrative is diffucult to follow'
'Interesting shots and nice locations, but could there be a way to tie them together?'
'Makes you smile... fits well in the genre.'
'Scratches look good, maybe a few too many light leaks though!'
'Love it, good choice of actors and location, maybe a slightly easier narrative to follow'
'Could have a bit more depth of field to make it look profesh'
'Easy listening and easy watching- suits the 'indie' genre'
'Fun but a little difficult to follow.'

From this feedback on www.surveymonkey.com, that I asked my media class to fill out for me; I learnt that I would need to make my narrative a little easy to follow but maintain the easy, light atmosphere.
Due to this; I decided to include another character; a boy of a similar age. It would consist of the 'couple' taking photographs together, laughing and relaxing together. The 'photoshoot' would be a way to tie the locations together, as well as adding another aspect, by allowing me to create some 'through the camera' style shots. I went back out to film a another 30 secs-1 min of footage and edited these back into my film.